This is an overdue post but seems appropriate to do this now. In the past, I’ve used various Star Trek ships to convey the changes I had experienced as I was transferred from one library branch to another. For the past five + months, I’ve been stationed at a store front library branch. The reason I picked the NX-01 starship is because it fits my particular situation. Enterprise itself was the 4 spinoff series from the original Trek series bringing it to the total of five not including the animated series or the movies. Since I started with the library back in 2006, I have now worked in five different branches. Now having said this, I carry this connection forward, the series was heading for cancellation by the end of the fourth season and nearly killed off the franchise forever. As I’ve mentioned before, I am facing a possible separation from the library is the next couple of months. Could this move kill off my career as a librarian forever?
As I am writing this, almost 1am Monday, I just finished a pint of ice cream and watching an Enterprise episode called Mauraders. To sum it up, think of this episode as a retelling of A Bug’s Life with the Klingons as the Locust. As I groan in pain from the late night dessert and tv watching, I am reminded that someone wrote this crap. Someone got paid to write this crap. I too want to write and get paid for writing crap. Several years ago, make that more than a decade ago, I wrote a spec script for the then upcoming Star Trek: Deep Space Nine series. I recently found it again which led me to believe, I need to write again and fail again. Yes, I did say fail again.
The original script was worked on with my mentor which we knew it could never be produced but wanted to showcase our passion for Trek. While the script was registered with the Writer’s Guild, nothing further happened until I moved down to Miami. When I started to work for Borders Book Shop, rest in peace, I met someone who helped me revise the script into a story where it could be considered for Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. Again, the script was registered and then submitted to Paramount. I waited for weeks to be notified that I failed and I was ecstatic. Before you think I was nuts, allow me to explain.
I achieved great failure by getting my first rejection notice. Okay, I didn’t get my story bought or was asked to pitch other stories but I took a chance to fail. I need to fail some more. I need more rejection letters. Again, this is not a bad thing but without those rejection letters, this tells me that I have not taken more chances in life. I have not done serious writing since I have Borders for good back in 2000. Granted, there were some letters that I wrote to the Star Trek Communicator which made me happy to see my name in print but that was long ago. As I face the possibility of losing my position as a librarian in the coming months, I have sick time that I need to use up. I am hoping that the time off from work, I will be able to find my voice again and get my thoughts down on paper and make something happen.
Just like the Enterprise series which seemed to go through the emotions halfheartedly, I don’t want my last days as a librarian to be devoid of passion and zest. Yes, I am still holding out for hope to have a job but in the meantime, I need to fill my spirit with something that made me happy once. While I may not be able to make a living at writing at least I’ll know that I failed.